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打招呼的礼仪

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Firstimpressionslastthelongest.Inthisweek’sarticle,wewillexploregreetingrituals(仪式)andhowyoucanmakeyourfirstimpressionagoodone.Therearemerelyfourthingstodoinordertocompletethegreetingritualsuccessfully:smile,makeeyecontact,shakehandsfirmlyandutter(说)anappropriategreeting.

Smilingistheuniversalsignforgoodwill,anditreducessocialtension.IwenttoajobinterviewwhenIwasabout18,andIwassonervousthatIcouldhardlykeepmyselffromshaking.Afteraneternityoffiveminutes,thereceptionistsaidthemanagerwouldmeetme.Imovedslowlytowardthemanager’sofficedoorandopeneditrespectfully.There,standingbehindhisdeskwithhishandoutstretchedingreeting,wasaportlymanofabout50,andhewasgrinning(露齿而笑)fromeartoear.”Comeinandhaveaseat,David,”hesaid.HeshookmyhandandtoldmethathewashappyIhadcome.Itwasn’tlongbeforemyanxietymeltedawayintheglowofhisbrightsmileandwarmgestures.WhenIleftthatmeetingwithmynewjob,Icouldn’trememberwhyIhadbeensoafraidinthefirstplace.Awarmsmilemadeallthedifference.

Insomecultures,eyecontactisasignofaggressionespeciallywhenitismadebetweeninferiors(下级)andsuperiors(上级),butinmostwesterncountriesitisasignofhonestyandgoodwill.Eyecontactsimplymeanstolookatsomeonedirectlyintotheireye..Althoughstaringlongintosomeoneelse’seyescanbeconsideredinappropriateifthatpersonisnotalovedone,makingpropereyecontactduringthegreetingritualisabsolutelynecessary.Inwesterncountries,apersonwhocannotorwillnotmakeeyecontactisperceived(理解)tobedishonest.Remember,duringthegreetingritual,youmustmakeeyecontact.

Thehandshakeis,perhaps,themostmemorablepartofthegreetingritualbecauseweactuallymakephysicalcontactforthefirsttime.Whenshakinghands,onemustrememberthatthehandshakemustbefirm.Thatis,youmustsqueezetheotherperson’shandtightly-notenoughtocausediscomfort,butitmustfirmenoughtoregisterastight.Asoft,wilted(衰弱的)handshakeisconsideredoffensive,andsuchahandshakeistheeasiestwaytomakeaterriblefirstimpression.Asyoushakehands,youshouldleanintoitslightly.Thatisleantowardthepersonwithwhomyouareshakinghandsinsortofatinybow(鞠躬).Agood,firmhandshakeisastrongfoundationuponwhichalifelongfriendshipcanbebuilt.Remember,keepitfirm!

Asonesmilesatanewacquaintance,lookingintohisorhereyes,shakinghandsfirmly,itisthenexpectedthatonewillsaysomewordsofgreeting.Thisphaseistheeasiestpartofthegreetingritualbecauseourgreetingsareformulaic.”Howdoyoudo,Mr.X”isaveryformalgreeting,anditisappropriateifoneismeetingasuperior.”Nicetomeetyou”isverycommonandacceptableinmostsituations.Itisimportanttorememberthatquestionslike”howdoyoudo”or”howareyou”arepartofthegreetingritualandarenotintendedtoinvestigateyoursituation.Thecorrectanswertobothquestionsis”fine,thankyou,andyou?”

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